Hi peeps,
This post was originally thought of at the end of July but I wasn't feeling crazy into writing it just yet. Here I am today, attempting it. It makes sense why I'm doing it now too. As I start to feel myself get busy and excited about being in a good place, I can tell that sometimes I take it all a little too seriously. My brain says "oh snap we feel good today so let's fit everything into this one time block of 24 hours!" and my body well... it's doing the best it can to catch up to that pace. In the midst of that speed, I've been feeling an undertone of the cautious part of me. That voice starts as a young child needing a nap and turns into extreme overthinking. It especially likes to make a list of questions. Have you been keeping up with your self care basics? No but it's just a bath. Have you been drinking celery juice? Uhm when I'm not lazy? Are you meditating as much as you want to be? Damnit. these questions are rigged! And they are! When I ask myself these questions I know very well that I have been putting these things off and as a result beat myself up over it. Then I get upset that I beat myself up because I am a human being and it's ok for me to take my time. It's really quite the production going on in there. Right now this is how I feel. Tangled, annoyed at myself and yet hopeful. I know this will change because that's the flow of things! I have a reiki session soon (healers gotta heal), I'm making dinner tonight which is going to be similar to the burrito bowl on my instagram the other day so yum, My dog is the cutest thing napping beside me, and I'm thinking of making a plan to get myself back on track. Being in a disconnected state bothers me and I want to be proactive about making myself feel better. This brings me to the concept of laughter and play. When I got too in my head with anxiety or depression these were the two things that boosted me. I'm far from being a serious person so when I get into hustle mode, anxiety, depression or anything like that I can still have a good giggle. Except for when I can't and those are the hardest days. What I like to do when I am being self aware, is find a way for me to play. Super simple and highly effective remedy. You know that saying that laughter is the best medicine? I agree.
When I'm at my healthiest there is a huge smile on my face and I am in my weird silly spaces. It's such a good mood booster and it takes as much or s little energy as you want to put in. Think about it, as a child you were probably so content playing with toys or laughing with your friends that hours could pass and it still wouldn't feel like enough. At our core we are meant to enjoy life. To relax and experience everything we can with a positive and deep vibration. No one was put here to truly suffer. Learning does not mean suffering. For myself, the best thing I do is not erase myself from a child like wonder. Every new thing is exactly that. it's new and exciting and I want to know how it works and can I touch it or feel it? What happens if I throw all of my water on it? It's a beautiful thing. I don't think I am too old for bouncy castles or playing in dirt, ice cream, bowling, dancing in my underwear, those things fill me up. They allow me to be completely present in the moment and that creates space for myself to really enjoy my life. For my birthday this year I decided that I needed to get out and have fun so I decided that I'd go to laser tag. Sounds amazing right? It was!!! To be honest only my best friend showed up and the rest of the people I went with were family. I wouldn't trade those hours for the hours spent at a bar or a club at all. Then I went for a night time car ride with my sister and bestie. What an incredible party! I try to play or do something like that as often as I can to keep me from taking it all too seriously.
Playing can be anything! It can be an actual game, a sport, gardening, doing impersonations of people to your friends, whatever it looks like for you I encourage it. Plus when we laugh it pumps feel good hormones into our bodies and, in my opinion, can cure a range of things. IF for some reason I can't go out and play or I need a quick boost, I watch funny YouTube videos or movies and that can help a lot. I feel unstuck and many times I've found myself inspired by what I see. Yay a bonus! Who doesn't want to watch a comedy in their pjs and have some tea or cookies?!!! Now that is one heck of a date night! There have been times where I could not leave the couch let alone the house because of how unwell I felt. I get that. I also get that sometimes crying for hours and trying to think your way out sounds like the only thing you can do about any of it. This simple thing has helped me in those times and on the days when it felt impossible to even smile, it was as imperative as ever. I needed to remember that this is who I am. I am a silly pants and feed off of humour and lighthearted living. If this is you, you will be there again just keep looking for the joy and laughs, the rest will come.
Humour has made me stronger in a way. Wherever my lows take me I seem to find a way to laugh about it. I'm sure at some point that was a coping mechanism to avoid the discomfort that comes with talking about what is really going on with me, however, I try to use it differently now. Yes, I still make jokes about myself and maybe they get too real but it takes a little weight off me when I am feeling heavy so I see it as beneficial. More often I am choosing to pick myself up with humour that has nothing to do with any challenge I may be facing as it pushes me out of my comfortable box of overthinking and allows me to shake that stuff out for a while. Smiling is good, laughing is good and I am super grateful that I get to be the goofball of my friend groups. Feeling at your best looks different on everyone and for me it looks like getting back to my natural state of silly.
There is so much this world has to offer us and often it's not as strict or serious as we think. So live hard, laugh a lot and every once in a while when things get too much, take part of the weight off and play.
Love and Light,
Sahara