I Wrote Love Letters to Myself For a Month: Here is What Happened and Why

Hello friends,

I think getting handwritten letters is one of the greatest gifts to receive! Am I wrong? It's an incredible feeling of bliss when you find a piece of paper/napkin,post it/old receipt etc. with some kind words on it. Who doesn't love feeling loved?!! For myself, I enjoy leaving them as well because I tend to pour out all the feels into my notes. A real game changer is writing them to yourself!

About a year an a half ago I was listening to a podcast (the name escapes me but I will link when I find it), it had a guest who talked about self love and how they had tried writing self love letters every day for 30 days. Both the host and guest seemed so sure of everyone trying this practice that I accepted the challenge immediately. This was during a time just before A LOT of life stuff was about to happen and it is always interesting to think back on where my mind was at before and after. For the next month I set aside a little bit of time every night to write as much as I could to myself and then would read it over afterwards. After the first day I had no clue what I was going to write to myself. I mean how many love letters could I possibly write that wouldn't be repetitive and how many words would be used as fillers because I had nothing else to say? I had to shift the way I was approaching it because I would get in the way of myself. The next day I wrote in third person and it helped. I was able to think "ok what kind things can I say about Sahara? If I were in love with her, what would I want her to know?". Those may seem like smaller questions but with them comes other questions like " why am I not in love with myself? Is this how I really talk to myself?" and the list goes on. That level of self awareness created enough space for me to look at my self talk and start to change those negative thoughts. You know, the ones that come up when you look in the mirror and see your eye bags or when you make a mistake and say "why are you dumb?". Sure, this sounds like many of our daily thoughts but have you ever really stopped to think how all those self deprecating statements and mean words affect the way you feel? I didn't.

I also decided to create a prompt for every day to help things along (I'll leave some suggestions at the bottom of this post). Often we forget to give ourselves praise, encouragement, appreciation, and comfort. These are all things we deserve, especially from ourselves! This practice was not always easy. I had to think about the deep stuff that I appreciate about myself. There were many times when I would read my letters and start to cry. Not because they were sad, but because they were so full of love and honesty. I fell in love with myself and continue to do so every single day. The journey to a healthy self esteem and confidence is not always linear and will not come up out of one exercise. They are a process and some days are really hard. I will say though, if you keep taking small steps, you will have times when you see yourself and think "damn I really am a masterpiece", "I am so beautiful", "I am smart" and all of it will be so worth it. For a long time I thought that if I gave myself permission to fully love everything I am, it would mean that I was conceited or full of myself. Talk about societal conditioning!!! I know that I am worth the work to shift my mindset and I know you are too!

I highly recommend giving this a try. Here are some prompts to help you with your 30 days of love letters to yourself:

  • What would you say to yourself on a bad day?

  • On a good day?

  • What would you say to your younger self?

  • What would your future self say to you now?

  • What inspires you about yourself?

  • The things you love about your body

  • Love promises to yourself

  • Write about specific qualities (your humour, leadership etc.)

  • If you were your best friend

I hope these help and empower you the way they empower me. As always feel free to send me a message, I love connecting with you! Ooooh and if you start this please please tag me on Instagram @the.sunspot and share your journey with me xoxoxo

Love and Light,

Sahara