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The Stem, a Budding Flowers' Best Friend (The Journey Home to Myself)

Hi there friend,

I have this thing with plant life, can you tell? I reference nature a lot here on the blog mostly because it carries the perfect analogies and the most beautiful wisdom. A couple of posts back I talked about planting seeds and getting back to my roots and although I feel like recovery/healing is very much NOT a linear thing, this would be another phase in that circle. Stems and buds are often overlooked! I mean everyone just wants to get to the pretty flower already am I right?! I promise this is equally as amazing as being there. To be real, this was going to be last weeks so I feel like my bud is starting to bloom already and it's picking up speed real quick!!

walking on the beach

Photo: @briannadsmith

So why pay attention to the stem? The stem of a flower is the first thing we see, it's that middle section strong enough to support a full and beautiful flower and it works without tire or being asked. It is the core where nutrients can travel up and down and it deserves some credit! When I talk about my stem or stems in relation to people, I am talking about that period of time where you first come out of your dark cave and start to feel the sunshine. It's like when you have been hiding in your depression and one day at a time you start to feel a little better and then all of a sudden you are on the upswing. It doesn't feel like a super long point in time but it is so cool!! Everything is great because you start to remember all the wonderful things you missed and ACTUALLY START DOING THEM AGAIN! You feel functional and because they have been gone so long you like them even more. So cool. Which means the bud of your gorgeous flower is where you start to see that you really are living your best life. So get ready for that because it's totally wild.

I want to acknowledge this because I used to mindlessly go through the ups and downs of my journey and it's not that I didn't appreciate the ups but I was always worried about the next thing or I would be upset that the good stuff ended. I believed that they had to end. This is not the case. I was scared and unaware and that is ok but since I have had to learn to listen to my body so closely, I know that being mindful of where I'm at will give me all the answers I ever need. I am choosing to be fully in tune with each step that I take so that I can take note and make the best choices possible. Ok Sahara so you are talking about plants and healing and what? I know, hippie brain.

For myself this has meant getting new blood work done to reassess my health, seeing my nutritionist to transition out of the ulcer diet I was on, going to Reiki and spending my energy on things that light my heart up! The most important thing I have noticed at this point is that with conscious action in the smaller steps, I can create an awesome foundation. The appointments and sessions that I schedule now are what allow me to enjoy my life so much when I am outside those things. They literally hold me up and support me. Often I feel like these things are the ones people tend to underrate or sometimes, not even do but a little bit of consistency and showing up for yourself has the most incredible results. All of it is part of a wonderful stem.

As far as the flower goes, I am well on my way to blooming. In fact it's safe to say that I am very close and you can expect a separate post all about being in full bloom shortly. The bud is a really precious thing for me. It's actually a little bit of shock mixed with a lot of smiles. I am now receiving all the abundance that I manifest. Each time something I have energetically attracted or asked for comes along I get so excited. I worked hard for that!! And now I have it??!!!! The shock isn't because I think I don't deserve these wonderful things, I feel it because I had been doing the hard work for a long time and have really good work ethic. Sometimes I would forget that there are results coming for me. They are coming in HOT! I am pleasantly greeted by the universe winking at me and dang, that's cool. I have been choosing to only follow what makes me happy, do things that are fun, and allow my passion to take me places I am scared to go. These are like my new guides and that is one of the most freeing feelings I've gotten in a while. I am coming home to myself, to the person who runs relentlessly toward their dreams, the one who spends hours laughing about little things with their best friend, who is curious and magic and wild.

Alright, I did a lot of talking and updating about my life but I really wanted to do this to let you know that no matter where you are at, what kind of recovery you are going through, or how hopeless it may seem, you will be here too. You will have to put in work, even after you feel like you are on top of the world because the work is what keeps you there but the maintenance of your beautiful self and beautiful life are so worth every single ounce. I am so proud to have you here with me, along for the ride.

There are some new and incredible things coming this way and I'm stoked to share them with you!!! We are talking collabs and interviews and secret projects that I am trying to be secret about. Keep hitting up my DM's on Instagram, I love it!!!!!

Love and Light,


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