does anyone else have something so close to their heart that they can't possibly touch it? Like if you do it could be the most dangerous, most amazing thing in the world and that in itself is scary to think about? For me it's music. I talk about being a creator a lot and how I love art in all it's forms and for the most part I share all my different creative expressions with others. Except music. I keep that to myself but it means everything to me. My world is painted in musicals, every falling leaf and every sound is a new opportunity for a melody. When I look at my writing it turns into lyrics. Alone time turns into a music video and sometimes my bed and living room are actually stages. I will always be a creator and want to act. I love it! But as the years pass I can see that music has become my mistress and she demands attention. I don't sing in front of just anyone anymore and I don't share my songs either. It's too precious, too close and too vulnerable. I will say that one of the best parts of being at Capilano University in the acting program was that I sang all day. I woke up and sang, made music during my breaks and there were countless times when I burst into the dance studio belting something. The feeling of having people listen, sing with me and maybe even enjoy my voice excited me. Whenever they gave me a compliment or accompanied me I was flushed with joy. Music is my thermometer, an instant indicator of how I feel. Passion does that to a person.
That one time I sang in front of people
There are tons of things in this world to get passionate about and in one way or another it involves being creative. Art is all around us, even in the little places like doing the laundry. Think about the way all the colors and textures spin together in the washer. So much that occasionally one color will leak onto another article of clothing and make something totally different. It's not glamorous but it is real. I'm not here to talk about your laundry specifically though. I'm here because art is essential in life. Creating is essential no matter what it looks like for you. I talk about art because it's what I like to create the most. I think it is incredibly healing to put love, time, energy and imagination into a project and see it come out in the end. All of your feelings or things that float around your head are given a place to live when you use them to create. In that you let your honesty live in a real form. You are free! Free from judgement and from any expectations placed by you or anyone else. Of course if you let yourself. Which is something else that making things teaches you. If you do it because you need to, because you like it and it makes you happy it becomes easier to release the insecurities surrounding it instead of judging and thinking that you aren't doing it right. One of the wonderful things about it is that there is literally no wrong way to do something. Just different ways.
Truly one of the most healing aspects of creating something is that it is a process. You can start with a lot of momentum and maybe zero ideas of what it will be in the end. Go through times when you love it and then despise it and then cry over it and love it all over again. Almost like a small roller coaster and it can depend on what the other areas of your life look like too. It allows you to put action to the feelings you have, see them, hear them out and work through it. I look back on my art therapy sessions with love. I can physically see where I was in my mind. What a feeling looks like and that is magic. Maybe that's why I feel the need to constantly be working on something, because in the process I work on myself. I get real and can sort it all out. When I am not all in on a million projects my energy looks for different things to do. It will pick fights with me, get bored or tired and not want to move. I don't mean that I can't be still with myself but more that I crave an outlet whether that be in my studies, work life or in my art. I can put all my love, motivation and whatever else into them and it helps put me in a good place.
Even if you don't consider yourself an artist I think creating is for everyone and I encourage you to find a way to create that makes you light up. Anything goes! If you are into alchemy, hop in a lab. If you like painting figurines, do that and don't worry about not having a use for what you make. Everything will have a place. Dive into something you love and let it be your everything. Learn, do it more and live in that blissful state of release.
Love and Light,